u downe?

I'm super nervous about November 6, when I have to emcee the next downetowne party "Miss Medic", at Bar 35. I'm kinda into the "Medical Fetish Theme", but not sure how their mostly-lesbian following will take to my style (whatever that may be). I'm not even sure what to expect that night, but luckily, Cocoa Chandelier will be performing that evening as well! So even if I suck, Cocoa's gonna uppstage me anyway. She and I will be sharing the stage for one musical number (not sure if we'll have an extra player), as well as a solo performance each. I haven't told my friend Mish yet, that I'm stealing a skit which she conceived a few years ago. But I'm bigger than her, and a guy. So, me worry? Please.

Cocoa Chandelier was crowned Universal Showqueen in 2008, the most prestigious title within the Transgender community in Hawaii. She is also the Artist-in-Residence at Leeward Community College, after contributing her talents as choreographer, costume design and artistic direction, after years of participation in Drama and Dance. Cocoa was assistant director and dancer for Iona Contemporary Dance Theatre for over 13 years, founded the House of Chandelier, and Giinko Marischino performance groups, seen frequently around Hawaii. She is and advocate for HIV/AIDS within the Pacific Island and Polynesian communities.

It is a daunting gig, though. My girl Ruby Hong & her associates have been creating quite a scene for years now. With Ruby's tomboy tastes, and the legion of lipstick lezzies I've heard fly in from outer islands, you could expect to encounter more than your zen garden variety of granola-grazing birkenstock-rocking butchies. In fact, locals from all walks of life, flock to this once-a-month theme party. So I hope it's okay if I just be myself, and remember that you can't please everybody.
It was kinda awkward when I had to write a bio. I don't like to hype myself too much, because if my audience has high expectations, it's easier to let them down. I hope I didn't set myself upp with the following synopsis of my "career" (The word Bio wasn't supposed to be there at the beginning, but it kinda sounded like I was the product of some eugenics experiment gone wrong, so I didn't correct it):

Bio-Cult figurine Diar "D.R" Rhea has been an ensemble playa on the scene for years. On stage with the House of Chandelier, or in one of her earpiercing bands like Imminent Riot, she's fed Honolulu a different diet of draggery, full of femmeboyant faggotry infused with politipunk hackery. This multi-media darling would also have to be an acclaimed (self-proclaimed) "zine geek". Her Shaka Zine has mocked tv screens once a week for 2 seasons, with their monthly chat show, Shaka Talk on Olelo. Mellow but manic, she hopes not to panic, streetwalking in traffic downetowne!

We'll see how everything goes. I already got a couple costumes in mind, although no one's answered my craigslist ad seeking a "reliable actor" to be part of my solo number, things usually fall into place. Ruby's always been a friend, and I'm anxious to see what everyone else is wearing. Plus got go-go dancers, and DJ KSM, so I'll have fun even if I flop. And nowadays, all the hottest guys wind upp having vaginas, so hopefully I meet some sapphic pseudo-star fucker.

Girl Feist 2010

Some people are so mad at men, they don't even know how to "boy"cott something. In fact, what they did was more like a protest, but these amateur activists apparently can't come correct. I think they believe they're doing the right thing, but unfortunately burning bridges instead of building them. I don't find them to be a very welcoming group, so I couldn't say for sure: but it feels like their attitudes and actions are motivated by money & misterogyny (that's boy for 'misogyny').

They're an offshoot of Girlfest, which in a few months will be the subject of a plethora of puff pieces in Honolulu's papers. It was founded on the credo "to prevent men's violence against women". They've since erased the sexism from their slogan, but is it just semantics? Having been on the receiving end on this woman's antics, because I guess I piss her off, I wonder if I should start a Boy Fest?...OOH! I love it! By evening, we could have a Man Feast! (There'll be a Cherry Bustin' Cabaret... we'll burn jockstraps... hold guys-only events and stage elections without female votes ~ very Founding Fathers minus the Meddling Mothers! Thanks Girl Fest for the inspiration!)

My story keeps evolving as these she-nanigans unfold, so I'll give the basic rundown: some friends of mine Downetowne had planned to do a Pimps-n-Hos party called "Hookers Bring Your Pimps". While the term 'pimp' could be expanded to include anyone who acts as an agent for a prostitute (brothel owner, person who tells someone where to solicit sex workers, etc), I'm referring to the connotative "abusive male who forces a woman to have sex with people for money, and then takes her money". I believe that's the most widely understood definition of 'pimp', and to welcome such men to a party thrown for "Women Who Love Women", seems a little paradoxical. As a self-employed sex worker, had I known about the party before they changed the name, I probbly would have expressed it)

But a maxi-moronical group beat me to it, shamelessly flaunting their trademark lack of tact or class, with a complete refusal to engage in civil conversation, by staging a bullshit "boycott" of the party on Facebook. What was more confounding was how - without evident provocation -they even went so far as suggesting a full-on boycott of the venue too! While I can't stand how cowardly and obnoxious this tacky tactic was,I can't deny that these arrogant actions did draw attention to the 'pimp issue'. Even Ruby & company realized the insensitivity of their party name & promptly changed it.

It seems our theme for August’s party has caused quite the controversial discussion amongst some of our peers. First of all we’d like to thank you for all of your support and kind words at this time. We appreciate it all and of course you!

Second, while we do understand the views of those who oppose the chosen theme, we certainly don’t agree with how they have chosen to express their concerns. We would hope that an organization that defines itself as ‘raising awareness through education’ would do just that… make us aware of our insensitivity through direct discussion instead of attacking through a Facebook protest. It’s unfortunate the organization felt the need to raise conflict within the lesbian community in order to raise awareness for their cause. We do not condone these actions. We are not afraid to admit our mistakes and still hope that organizations with a common purpose can learn from each other.

We are honored to represent the LGBT community and are humbled by this experience. We sincerely apologize to those we have offended. We have since changed the theme to this party. We look forward to continuing our mission to provide a hip and social environment where lesbians can come together in a safe and non-discriminate manner.

Sincerely,
DowneTowne Events, LLC
Ruby Hong

Hmmm.... Lesbians on an island? You know if I ate pussy, I'm sure I could think of a few other ways to communicate my concerns, rather than an aggressive public attack via social media. How about a open-minded discussion via that same resource? Why not pick upp a phone, reach out and touch somebody? That wouldn't be dramatic enough, and you might not get the credit for the name change.

I can understand why this group has abandoned ration & reason. Showing respect to anyone involved in prostitution, could jeopardize their funding, so I can't fault these opportunists for also being capitalists. And since they're extremists, criticism only feeds their egos. Pissing people off is it's own reward when it helps you get your way, with the added bonus of publicity. Negative or not, any press is good press. Since they silence all opposition, and cloak themselves with victims, they can convince fools to part with their money.

But, we don't feel that this has been misguided and if some people in the club-scene consider us "grumpy grumps" well, we'll take that criticism if it means standing up for our clients (survivors of sex-trafficking) because events like these do not help their morale at all.

Our paths don't cross in "the club-scene", so I'll refrain from calling them "conniving cunts". But how does it help their clients' morale to be represented by someone who (on their behalf) single-handedly alienates entire communities, then hides behind their clients to justify such self-righteous misbehaviour? A "Non-Executive Director" with a 9-paragraph bio, who's best described by a single finger? But don't mind me. I'm just speaking from experience.

Someone once said something that contradicts me. Whoever left the comment at the end of that last link: I like your name!