Trannyshack will return to Hula's on Fri & Sat Feb 25 & 26 2011
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------See how it is? The literal media distracts us with things like New Year's Parties, Ingaurations, even yellowcentric Kung Hee Fat Choy celebrations, so that we don't observe or even realize January was Drag History Month. I wouldn't have known (what kine mahu me?), had my friend Justice For All not shown me this video by the Living Legend, Varla Jean Merman:
There's much more to be learned, but not enough time to get this article fully researched before January is upp. I dropped the ball again, no pun intended. But just to make sure you don't miss a few uppcoming presents to Drag's future, I'll post a couple for you here now (hope it's good enough for you)
Yes, Trannyshack is back again!
@ Hula's in Waikiki (134 Kapahulu Ave, across from the zoo).
I believe this is their third time performing in Hawaii? If I'm not mistaken, Trannyshack began at a club called The Stud in San Francisco, which (punish me if I'm wrong) was owned by local boy Michael McElhaney. The one time I went was super fun. At some point, I had used the "Men's" Room, and later had to run back to retrieve one of my hair extensions that had fallen out.
When I got there, porn directress Chi Chi LaRue was semi-conducting some kinda dunking for dukey audition or something or whatever. I seen her watching a couple of guys "performing" by the toilets, but they were hunky hairy haole homos, I like underage Asians so I didn't pay attention. What I did notice was my weave getting tangled and twisted under one of Ms. LaRue's shoes. There on the floor (of a SF bathroom mind you), I was tugging and pleading like a Cancer victim to God, for Chi Chi to let me have my hair back.
Ms. LaRue probbly won't be crusing the bathrooms, but expect something just as riotously raunchy at the delightfully devious (and downright disgusting) drag divas of Trannyshack's return engagement.
Till then enjoy hostess Heklina's reading of Shaka Zine, one of her favourite things about Hawaii:
As well as them malihini mahus, please support your local Drag Shows as well:
Saturday Nights @ 945pm
Fusion Waikiki (2260 Kuhio Ave)
It's a shame I can't google anything current on them, because one of my idols Raquel G. Greggory's Paper Doll Revue is the longest running drag show in Hawaii. At Fusion Nightclub for the past 16 years, these girls have gone through many changes (from line-upp to ex-say), but still put on a consistently entertaining extravaganza. Their cast includes some of our most seasoned professionals like former Universal Show Queen title holders Yoshiko Oshiro, Justice For All and Maddalyn Ashton. This year's most esteemed member is the Imperial Court Empress Harley Davidson. And rounding out the cast are Maddie's granddaughter Christina Ashton, and the Fashionista Pageant producer Tiana AnnDersen (who contrary to the flyer, has decided not to leave the show).
Weekly drag shows include:Paperdoll Revue / Saturday Nights @ 945pm /Fusion Waikiki 2260 Kuhio
Gender Bender Lipgloss Revue / Fridays @ 945pm / Fusion 2260 Kuhio Ave
Viva Las Venus, / Saturdays @ 11pm? / Bar Seven (previously Venus) 1344 Kona St.
Chemisstry (Drag King show) / Fridays @ ? / Cafe Sistina 1314 King Street
The 6th Annual Diva of Polynesia Pageant
Saturday March 14, 2009
Japanese Cultural Center, Manoa Ballroom
Produced by Kulia Na Mamo, this coveted title does more than reward the winner for her showmanship and talent. It also helps to raise awareness and funds to solve the trials and troubles trannies go through. Their programs include job training, food distribution, plus STD education & outreach. Furthering their approach to helping their clients become productive members of society, Kulia Na Mamo puts an emphasis on cultural pride:
"Mahuwahine (male -to-female transgenders), mahu and aikane (same sex relationships) were accepted among indigenous, non-westernized people, as in Native American and Polynesian societies. Legends of pre-contact Hawaii indicate that dual-genderism and bisexuality were accepted among the Hawaiians of old. Today's Native Hawaiian scholars refer to historical records that document bisexuality among ruling chiefs as well as commoners (Kameeleihiwa, 1999). Perhaps for this reason, the local transgender population is overwhelmingly Native Hawaiian."
So by supporting Kulia Na Mamo's Diva of Polynesia Pageant is kinda like buying a carbon credit, except you'll be allaying your American guilt for: stealing a kingdom;...ravaging, militarizing, and living on the land to further your own imperialistic interests;...and marginalizing the natives to the point of near extinction. Hit it!
Or if you can't be bothered, at least watch 2008's Diva of Polynesia, slumgod-chameleon-airborne Cocoa Chandelier in her ground-breaking crowd-pleasing award-winning performance at last year's USQ Pageant.
ps: after all that overkill, why not some more, with Varla Jean Merman's educational obscenity-fueled School House Rock medley:
When I arrived, hostess and MC 
One of the first performers I saw, Mercy Fuque, delivered an uppdated version of the drag lip-sync modern classic "Sweet Pussy Pauline". It was as vulgar and tasteless as ever, but this time the comic monologue had a beat behind it, which kept the room so entranced that one audience member fell to Mercy's feet and buried his face in her crotch.
She was able to repel the enthusiastic fan, but he wasn't the only one to lose control that night. During a t-shirt giveaway, assisted by two of Hula's hottest (in or out of drag) Ka'imi & Tallon,
Heklina was eating and even signing asses, or both! I wish I could show y'all the video, but some of you would like it too much, and others not at all, plus the guy was in the military, so....
But the show wasn't completely crackers and coocoos.
Matthew Martin channeled Judy Garland twice. A throwback to drag days gone by, his uppdated interpretation had the gay icon lamenting to her mother after killing a man, in the camp cover of Judy singing Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody."
And Putanesca's seemingly gratuitous flashing of her genitals must have rose above high art, or else shouldn't she be in trouble?
Still, just as surprising as the last time she entertained us, the hottest and coolest "girl" in the show is actually female....and lesbian, more worse! 
As a woman gynecologist yanking squid out of a cross-dresser's private parts, at what point does that stop being transgressive, and go beyond transcendent?
But the spirit gum who held the show together was definitely Ms. Heklina. Her dirty mind and filthy mouth helped the hilarious hijinx of the cast's perverted performances sink to new levels of crude, crass and crazy.
