Grant for the Takin'

I'm sorry Grant! I hope you don't think we were taking you for granted. I think you're smart and talented, that's why I asked you to be on Shaka Talk. But I had a break down, and kinda drifted from blogging. I owe you.

Grant Uchida is a singing comedian, who writes his own songs, but is kinda more popular for his song parodies. Not only are his versions funny, but I also like the way he tries to shed light on touchy subjects. Most people like to lecture others about topics they feel strongly about. Grant uses humour to approach the issues, like stalking, teen pregnancy, and being broke ass.

Grant makes other videos, like his new series"Blame it on the Writers", and he also provides the voice for the main character, in our August guest ~ muppephile ~ Dane Neves's newest movie, "Giant Monsters Attack Hawaii". So his fanbase is growing.

I don't know what else he has upp his sleeve, but his wit and drive will probbly make him more familiar to local people, and probbly beyond. He cool.


(photo by Cheyne Gallarde of Firebird Photo)

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Uppdate: December 23, 2011

Produced in only 14 hours, just in time for Xmas, Grant upploaded the video for his latest original song "Ho Ho Holy Crap (Commercialized Christmas)".

No Joke

The boys are back in town. Prometheus Brown and Bambu de Pistola of Blue Scholars will be performing live at In4mation Pearlridge to celebrate the release of their new album "Walk Into a Bar". I've seen & heard their name a lot, so I assume they've played here plenny, but I rarely get to see them. In fact, I only seen them once, and that was at TooGruvz to promote the release of their Hawaii-inspired EP, endearingly entitled "OOF!".

Not too many people were there that day, so if you missed it, Edna recorded their set for us. If I don't make it to their show this time, I hope someone records it and lets us know. #iluvmyhuzzbin

Blue Scholars at TooGruvz - "Bananas"



Blue Scholars at TooGruvz - "HI 808"



Blue Scholars at TooGruvz - "Cruz"



And here's a video of HI 808, with some cameos by cuties Aaron Honozooloo, that Mad Sexy Beast Lofa, Lightsleeper Kavet the Catalyst & major iKandy Christina.

Blue Scholars - HI-808

Hello, Yellow Fellows

Now that we're entering the 2nd decade of the 21st Century, will it still be all about Asians on TV? Every reality show (that's all broadcast television has become) feature some shade of Asian (my favourite being Korean) regular. But for scripted shows, they're still relegated to guest spots, or extras, from what I've seen. That's ok, because too much of a good thing is junk. Like this couple minute spot featuring Poreotics on Disney's Shake It Up, is just enough foreplay to the sock session it inspired.

Luck? Sure. Yes!

All good things must come to an end.

Who's Bad?

"Treble & Timbre - "Discoveries"

I must've stumbled uppon Treble & Timbre, probbly looking upp Ryan Dance Machine's blog for his KTUH radio show Timbre Tantrums.
Treble & Timbre was a singing duo, made upp of sketch comedy artists, Amanda Barrett & Michael Lucid (respectively), from their early '00's web series "Pretty Thingsss". I love their almost open-ended queer humour. It's like it almost teeters on the edge of edgy, without tipping over the top. Kinda Canadianish.Treble & Timbre - "Always a Bad Girl"

I'm really into their "Always a Bad Girl" video though, because it's like their only actual song-length tune. Most of their music is under a minute, with no real point, but to make you laugh, or at least wonder "Huh?". But this song is like a musical version of the book/bumper sticker "Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History".
The song is also a humourous version of (perhaps influenced by) Le Tigre's feminist name-dropping anthem "Hot Topic".
Although this song shares the same name of an over-the-counterculture mall mess, it still incites a little Googling of some revolutionary figures. In fact, artist Kirsten McCrea was so inspired, that she further immortalized the people named in the song, by painting them all, and having a show, making a video & then blogging about her Hot Topic Project. The only deviation was she also painted portraits of the Le Tigre band members as well (minus Sadie Benning, who was replaced by JD Samson, but whose voice can be heard on the track).
--------------------------------------------
PS: you could see more of Michael Lucid as Damiana Garcia on the Daily Freak Show, and Amanda Barrett is currently playing music with her wife Abby DeWald, in their band The Ditty Bops.

surfin' turf ala tarp

I was looking upp videos of my friends' bands, and found this one by Showdown in Chinatown regulars Fun Word for "Forest" by Clones of the Queen:



I like the video for multiple -obvious- reasons, but about 2 minutes 5 seconds in, I went nuts. As a low budget drag queen, I'm always looking for cheap ways to fake something. So when I seen them boys emulating a wave ride with a skateboard on (what I thought was) a parachute, I was instantly aroused. I had to see more.

Apparently "tarp surfing" kinda blew upp and fizzled out in 2010. I'm not even sure how I figured out what to Google, but most of the videos I found were from last year. I must have blinked because I would remember something like this.

I'm not sure how to research the history of such a "sport" (there's not even a wikipedia page!), and it ain't that cool, so I'm not gonna investigate too hard.

The kids in the following video think they invented tarp surfing one day in San Juan Capistrano. Who cares if it's true?

Tarp Pits - The Birth of Tarp Surfing



The guys in the video below are purty funny. Plus there's so many shakas in the video, I got tired of capturing them.




They claim to have been tarp surfing champs back in the day. I like the way they have other guys looking like they're paddling out. I can't explain everything that turns me on about this pseudo-sport: from the camera work, to the way these two unrelated things reference another experience that you can almost feel.

Ruse Entertainment



I was able to find some of 2010's greatest songs by looking upp tarp surfing videos. One of my new faves is "The Key" by Ou Est le Swimming Pool. Unfortunately, I also learned that the band won't be doing much else since the singer killed himself after accidentally hurting a fan at a show.




Regardless of your story behind tarp surfing, apparently "Animal" by the group Miike Snow is the anthem or theme to the activity. Along with the Ruse video above, I found a few others, including some local boys working it out to the same song:

Konapipit



As embarrassing as it is to admit I've grown upp in Hawaii, and never once attempted surfing, the kid's wipeout at the end of this clip isn't as intimidating (looks fun), although other vids have shown some semi- rough rashes and gashes.

ZapponieProductions



I thought it was weird that most of the clips I found were from last year, with hardly anything prior or after. But shit blew upp, and there's clips from Burning Man, down under to Australia (with another Miike Snow song), & all the way to France. There was eventually a second in an Apple ad ... then soon after, tarp surfing was in a Mountain Dew commercial. At the corny tarpsurfing.com, their last blog entry was a posting of the commercial. So as soon as it broke big, is purty much when it died. I guess when you get co-opted by a Coca-Cola product, you've broken out, but broken down.



It's okay. As inspired I was by the many implications of tarp surfing, and their applications in my every day life, the visuals in the Forest music video at the top, will probbly leave more of an impression on me over time. It's got all the elements: Polynesians, surfing, skating, hidden identities, exposed buttocks, homemade Mexican food & regurgitation.
My friend at Laka Zine says the end reminds him of 2 Girls 1 Cup. I see it more like when a mommy bird regurgitates food to her chicks. Either way, it's an expression of love.

Ho, I neva know....

Sometimes having gay friends can be advantageous. My roommate found this one for me. I was there at the show, but I don't really remember much about that night. Must not have gotten that close, 'cause then why wouldn't I watch the whole thing? I do remember a few false starts & do-overs. For some reason I seem to remember Jason Mungen being there. I could be wrong.

Britney Spears - Don't Let Me Be The Last To Know - Live in Hawaii

For Daze

Right on! I'm in the middle of Kaleem Aftab's book about Spike Lee called, "That's My Story and I'm Sticking To It". So far, it's purty much about Spike's rise to fame, as an African-American filmmaker during the 1980's & '90's. This was just as Hip Hop was braking out of the ghettos, and emerging as a force to influence global culture. But Spike's focus remained on the politics & dynamics of race in America, specifically as it affects Black Americans.


School Daze (1988) - Trailer by Melvin-X

I love racism, expecially intra-racial kine. And Spike's second movie "School Daze" was probbly the first to turn me onto it. It's about students at Mission University, an all-Black college. But contrary to popular belief, they DO NOT all look alike. In fact, they segregate themselves - get this - along colour lines! The dark-skinneded "Jigaboos" flaunt their heritage by wearing their hair nappy & natural. The light-skinneded "Wannabes" iron their hair & bleach it, and even wear coloured contacts.

School Daze: Good or Bad Hair



The movie also depicts a conflict between Black Nationalists protesting the school's non-involvement with African politics, versus Gamma Phi Gamma fraternity & their disinterest in the issue. I think. I gotta watch it again. But I love how Black people avoid violence, and like break dancing, express their rivalries thru art. School Daze was the first time I ever seen Step Dancing, too.

School Daze Step Show



I don't know how come the guy at the beginning of the clip above is holding a shaka. Maybe it's a shout out to Shaka Zulu? The weirdest thing about this scene, is how it starts off with - and even has a sign saying - "Ice Ice Baby". How insulting must it have been for the Whitest Rapper to go worldwide with a hook stolen from a Spike Lee Joint?

I still haven't seen all of his films, but I love how Spike Lee gets us to rethink about the way we live and understand things in America. Who would have thought he was a fan of musicals? He's not haole, female, or gay. Talk about braking stereotypes. But of course he lives upp to one in a big way. Spike Lee likes to watch girls with large asses shake them. With his East Coast pre-cursor to Baby Got Back, E.U.'s go go classic "Da Butt" became a dance sensation across the nation, thanks to School Daze, and Spike's video for the track.

EU - Da Butt 1988




I'm only halfway thru the book, so I don't know how he dies (or is he in jail?), but I think Spike would be happy about the progress we've made in America, when it comes to race. We have a mostly Black family in the White House, and Copper Cab has apologized for slavery (on MLK Day ~ how symbolic). I think we can all just get along now.

Apology For Slavery



Wake Upp!

Staid Upp

we parked across the street from Hawaii Theatre last night. saw some artists at work.

Snitch You Wookiee Asian

So alla my friends wanna go raving this weekend. I can't handle full-body highs no more, so I hope (if we go) that I can find a place to smoke my God-made herbs, instead of them designer dopes the kids are still fond of these days.

The REAL Situation (Feat. MTV Jersey Shore's The Situation, Snooki, and Pauly D) - watch more funny videos

Do the Right Thing

I forget what channel it was on (never even heard of the show), but "America Now" reported that Honolulu has some of the worst traffic in the U.S., making local drivers susceptible to road rage. They interview a UH professor, who recommends throwing a Shaka, instead of sticking finger, when you feel yourself losing your temper on the road.

Whatever.

ps: I don't know who them kanes are in the picture above, but if that's you or you know them, hook it upp! Leave a comment. We go smoke, or eat, or oof, or sumting. I'm buying.

Swoono Croono Shakes His Shaka

Although the song that won him the Grammy for "Best Male Pop Vocal" contains this decade's most trite and hackneyed word (the only thing I'd replace), my huzzbin Bruno Mars has become a super success story for yet another Oahu artist.

"Mars is the first national recording artist with Hawaii ties to win a Grammy for a debut release since Bette Midler won the Grammy for best new artist in 1973."

Having sung over rap, reggae & doo-wop melodies, even impersonating Elvis Presley and Michael Jackson, this Puerto Rican/Filipino has managed to master every shade of Black. Recently he's had so many simultaneous radio hits, he's like a boy Rihanna. And with a repertoire as diverse as the islands' multicultural influences, Bruno's just one example of Hawaii's major musical talent, just waiting to brake the surface and surpass expectations.

I love it that in the first line in one of his cash is king collabs, he sings the line "so fuckin' bad." Honest and open, he's crooned about co-dependency; loves to luxuriate in lethargy; suffers from self-delusional schizophrenia; admits to indulging in alcoholistic escapism; and exhibits sexy bits of sundry suicidal symptoms. Hell, he's even plead guilty to cocaine possession! Boy's not only cute, but he's real & relatable too!

The Grammy site better get Bruno's performance and acceptance speech upp soon. I doubt he'll release a sex-tape, so seeing his anticipation build-upp as they announce the nominees, then the ecstatic flood of emotions as his name is called is probbly the closest I'll ever get to watching him orgasm. Hopefully the following Euro-uppload don't get shut down too soon.



PS: A hot chic from Hawaii also won a Grammy this year too. Tia Carrere won for "Best Hawaiin Music Album" (sic). She let her longtime friend/collaborator Daniel Ho make the acceptance speech. Daniel's cute, but sounds skosh muffy. Not my T.

ps: here's another Shaka shot from Bruno's recent local concert, shot by honozooloo.

some people will do anything to get into Shaka Zine

I think this is Mrs. Palin's 3rd appearance in Shaka Zine. We deserve to get teabagged for that.



terrrible horrrible

Grudge Report (she's still nails)

Bag of wind, you're dreadful!

Last Night a Zine Geek Saved My Life

It sucks living with my boss/bf. I can't vent at home about my day, 'cause it's probbly his fault. So I ran away for a minute ,when he woke upp at 2am. During my trip, I stopped into Kinko's on University or whatever it's called now, to ask about printing costs. The guy working was busy,
but on my way out, I glanced at a stack of photocopied photographs with handwritten scrawling around them in collage...WTF? A zine publisher caught in the act? I got harder than a cop nabbing a graf artist.

If I wasn't stoned I wouldn't have had the balls to yell across the store: "Are you making a magazine?"

His name is Mauro Loriato and I was able to score the following interview (I emailed some "deeper" questions I hope he answers, 'cause I was so stoked to meet another zine geek, I couldn't think of nothing clever). Here goes:
What's your name?

Mauro.

What's the name of your magazine?

It's Crazy Beer BBQ

Cool. You're from Brazil and you've been in Hawaii one year?

Ya almost one year. I spend my time between Hawaii and Brazil.

And skating everywhere?

Ya, I try.
Are you sponsored?

Ya, by Weird Clothing, and Aerial 7 Headphones, Junkie Riders that's mine, and Lo Fi Punk Rock.

I don't understand half that. [he spells everything out for me]. Junkie, like heroin junkie?

Ya, but we don't...

Are you drug free? It's 2010

It doesn't matter, I don't care.
When did you start making this issue?

Oh...

Long time?

2008? [laugh]

That's a zine. How long have you been making Crazy Beer BBQ?

Two years and a half. Almost 3 years.

Where else have you skated around the world?

Brazil, Argentina, Buenos Aires, California, and Hawaii.

Right on. Where's your favourite place to be in the world?

For skate or to live?

Both.

I don't know. I think for live is Hawaii for sure. Good life. But for skate? I don't have too many experience in the world, but California for sure.

So is Brazil a dangerous place like we kinda see on TV?

Ya. Depends the place, the time, the situation. You need to be smart. Know the scene. Otherwise, pfff
So what's the scariest thing that's happened to you while skating around Brazil.

When I skate?

Or doing anything in Brazil. What was the scariest moment?

I don't know because I live there. Many things are scary, but I don't think it's a big deal. Many things you think don't gonna be bad, can be the worst. You can go to grocery shop, just go to grocery shop can be pffff. And you go walk late time drunk, don't have anything. You know?

What's your favourite thing about Hawaii?

I like the climate. Good at-mo-sphere. Everything's easy. I like it.
Do you have any shout-outs to anybody?

What is it?

Just saying your friends' names? You already said your sponsors. Or do you have any advice for the world?

Keep it true. Be real.

Right on! Thanks Mauro.

You're welcome...For what? [we both laugh]
----------
Nice guy. Mellow. Friendly. We hung out for a bit more, as he told me about his spot on Hawaii Extreme Sports TV. He also explained his decision to let Crazy Beer BBQ stay a zine, as opposed to a brand that he would have to keep upp. "This is just one part of your life," he said, and I knew what he meant. But I'm not too shame to admit, zines are a big part of my life. I hope he tells me where to pick upp a copy when he finishes. I'll let y'all know...after I secure mines.

Consummate

"Think about it: Bill is middle-aged, obese, with disposable income, & poor impulse control. He is the average American consumer." Peggy Hill

Sarah Shakes a Shaka for Shaun on Leno, (not my huzzbin Sean Lennon).

I'm changing my previous wordage 'cause it was nails and obvious I hadn't really paid attention to her. I didn't even notice that Sarah Palin was shakin' them shakas for Shaun White. She's a fuckin' tripp! And what a dream come true: for a comedian to kill on Leno? Dat ish iz Bonanza, Murry! (and the video's probbly 86 soon)

You got to roll with the punches to get to what's real.

These guys are daredevil criminals. They've been arrested for jumping off tall things. I caught upp to them on Current, my new favourite TV-channel-I-didn't-know-we-had (Oceanic 0900 at my house). When they shot in May 2008, the French guy whose face you could see, and the English dude whose face is blurred, held the world's record for base jumping off the tallest building in the world, Burj Dubai.

Let's chase them as they illegally sneak on to the unfinished building site, climb and sweat uppward for hours, admire the view from above, parachute off a balcony, evade cops, then finally shake a shaka! as they revel in their rise to the top of their game.

La Vida Loco

Ripped off these images from the Royal Hawaiian Pool Service blog. Can't get 'em at their store no more, so I couldn't resist (at risk of being destroyed myself!). Brief but badass entries feature figures from skating's past, present and beyond, including local pool skating legends General Gary Owens, and Kale Sandridge the fuckin' rockstar. Hawaiians by heart & hardcore to the bones, this brigade of shredders showcase nifty novelties and shit on naff nostalgia surrounding the lives, steez, and lifestyle of these athletes.
Though entry can be exclusive it's far from elitist, as they invite you to jump in on their journey by going so far as to teach you how to build a pool. Don't be shocked if they show upp uninvited.
Live, learn, and support your loco skateboarders.

Shaka To Me!

Doing his best Gerard Elmore impersonation, because he knows how it turns me on, my huzzbin Taylor Lautner sent me some secret messages during his stint as host of Saturday Night Live last night.