Who's Bad?

"Treble & Timbre - "Discoveries"

I must've stumbled uppon Treble & Timbre, probbly looking upp Ryan Dance Machine's blog for his KTUH radio show Timbre Tantrums.
Treble & Timbre was a singing duo, made upp of sketch comedy artists, Amanda Barrett & Michael Lucid (respectively), from their early '00's web series "Pretty Thingsss". I love their almost open-ended queer humour. It's like it almost teeters on the edge of edgy, without tipping over the top. Kinda Canadianish.Treble & Timbre - "Always a Bad Girl"

I'm really into their "Always a Bad Girl" video though, because it's like their only actual song-length tune. Most of their music is under a minute, with no real point, but to make you laugh, or at least wonder "Huh?". But this song is like a musical version of the book/bumper sticker "Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History".
The song is also a humourous version of (perhaps influenced by) Le Tigre's feminist name-dropping anthem "Hot Topic".
Although this song shares the same name of an over-the-counterculture mall mess, it still incites a little Googling of some revolutionary figures. In fact, artist Kirsten McCrea was so inspired, that she further immortalized the people named in the song, by painting them all, and having a show, making a video & then blogging about her Hot Topic Project. The only deviation was she also painted portraits of the Le Tigre band members as well (minus Sadie Benning, who was replaced by JD Samson, but whose voice can be heard on the track).
--------------------------------------------
PS: you could see more of Michael Lucid as Damiana Garcia on the Daily Freak Show, and Amanda Barrett is currently playing music with her wife Abby DeWald, in their band The Ditty Bops.

Hea Sculpta

Last Halloween I got to visit my friend AJ Catalano in his Hollywood home, soon after he had wrapped working on Disney's latest movie "TRON Legacy". I had forgotten my wig when packing, but I did pick it upp after our talk, right before we headed to some pervy Mexican bar. AJ wound upp ditching me there, while I made out with some fat Black dude in front of Denny's. I forget how I got home.

Shaka Talk - AJ Catalano Part 1 of 3



Shaka Talk - AJ Catalano Part 2 of 3



Shaka Talk - AJ Catalano Part 3 of 3

You Said a Handful

Good porn is like a good book. Some times you look at it from beginning to end. Other times you start with the good parts, and go back over them again and again. You put it down for a while. Explore alternate avenues of interest. New characters. Different styles. But when you wanna undeniable eyeful, you return to old reliable. Such books/flicks are rare, but my huzzbin Aaron Yoshino has been a guy able to capture with flare, the beauty that's always been there that we might not have noticed. I know this 'cause he shows us his visions via his blog honozooloo.com. In it he documents with aplomb his jobs and journeys, taking us along for the ride, and thankfully doesn't hide one bit of the beauty he loves with his lens. Some is skin deep. Some is deeply rooted in the land. Some is seeping gooey in your hand. The latter's rather lathery 'cause of his latest gallery entitled "aloha & mahalo". A hard act I'd follow, by the tall glass I'd swallow like there's no known tomorrow. Yet I'm not so shallow a pervert to be drawn to overt images of sexuality. In fact, to me, the best objects of desire project a higher sensuality, with inspiring personalities and refined sensibilities. Be they rippers, trippers, or strippers... poets, publishers, pedal pushers... risk takers, groundbreakers, or youthquakers, these shaka shakers been makin' my hands be cramped and panties damp for days!

Too, like he, "Thanks" I say.

How do you say deee-licious? Deee-lectable? Deee-vine?

Stop me! Oh-ho-ho, stop me! Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before: One of my lamer excuses for not blogging enough is that so many of my links wind upp dead soon after I post them... Like my favourite (which I posted in an entry about Isaiah White who's removed much of his early work) Ookie Cookie is off youtube 'cause it's travelling film fests. The video is an homage to two short films that had a big influence on my humour and worldview growing upp: Strawberry Shortcut and Pickle Surprise.

Recipes for snacks named after deviant sexual acts, the videos were produced by Tom Rubnitz in the '80's, and star some of the South's rising stars, who've since become supernovas known the world over.

Strawberry Shortcut stars X-tra retarded genius The Lady Bunny as a dinner hostess with a dessert dilemma.


Pickle Surprise takes Rubnitz's 70's sound effects / psychedelic aesthetic even further with Lady Bunny returning, and future Supermodel of the World RuPaul sampling this mystery treat.


Ookie Cookie was finished sometime last year by Barry Morse, about 20 years after the original clips. This time Dirty Sanchez vamp Jackie Beat plays Lady Bunny (and does most of the voices), with other actors, including Morse himself, also paying tribute to the stars of the previous films. Like I said, it's not on youtube anymore, but luckily can still be viewed at gothtober.com by clicking on the 17th.


Ookie Cookie is probbly the most delicious of the 3, but like any delicacy, it all deepends on the chefs, and what they ate before whipping it upp.

I-I-Itcha Pitcha, Shame Shame Shame!

I only got Six minutes and 40 seconds to save the world? Time is waiting. What the f*ck am I gonna say about Shaka Zine & our show Shaka Talk for that long? Or, more important: what the FUCK am I gonna wear?

According the their website, "Pecha Kucha" is a Japanese term for "the sound of conversation", and at the last event I went to, there was a lot of it. Mucha of whicha was during some of the guests' presentations.

Pecha Kucha is an opportunity for artists to gather and network (joy!), while a chosen few speak over a slide show of 20 images, each on-screen for 20 seconds. So, like I said: 6 minutes and 40 seconds...and this month, I'm one of those chosen people. Time to live upp to my inner Jew, while bringing forth my suppressed inner Filipino, but still clinging to my lost little Mexican.

If that last sentence makes little sense, just give me 6 and a half more minutes wearing lipstick/liner/lashes in front of a tipsy crowd of yuppies, hipsters, trendsetters, hanger-onners, and free thinkers there for the free drinks, and I'll either give you a public speech without fault, or bring the party to a screeching halt.

I hope I look cute-ish, or at least get a date. Thomas Square's across the street, so it's semi-guaranteed.

Pecha Kucha Honolulu #5
Friday July 24
730pm to 930pm
Honolulu Academy of Arts
Academy Art Center at Linekona
1111 Victoria St
FREE

yummers

My friend Bert called me to let me know that there was an ad for musician / visual artist / cheesecake-churner-outer Otto Cake's bakery in the latest Honolulu Weekly. Apparently my former bandmate will be re-living the dream of running his own dessert destination. With a flair for the flamboyant, Otto's over-the-top antics and eye for detail set hopes high for his Grand Opening this First Friday, July 3 at 1160 Smith St. Although I'm a shameless Coke addict, I am wondering if he'll stay true to form and be serving Jolt Cola for old timers' sake?

Straight to DVD

Well, we shot our show Shaka Talk on June 5, and because of some technodifficulties, didn't get scheduled to premiere until July 24. However, my mom called me upp Saturday telling me I was on TV. Apparently Olelo had some time to fill, so they just popped us on. As soon as it was done, my phone rang. Olelo makes you put contact info, and some dude was either impressed with our guest Won's work, or wanted to date a mahu. Next time I'm dressed upp I'll call him back.

To get a show on Olelo, you have to be certified. When I took the classes forever ago, you

So I guess it's okay to un-private Shaka Talk #1 at youtube.com/shakazine. I'll elaborate more but #1 is Diar "D.R." Rhea and Edna Mc Man interviewing Origami Artist Won Park, and on #2 D.R. & Edna interview Perception Technician Alex Iverson. #2 gotta stay private until it premieres on Channel 52 (or winds upp as after-midnight filler due to 'adult material').

According to the email I got from the Olelo Traffic Department, the Shaka Talk airdates are as follows:

ALL ON CHANNEL 52

Shaka Talk #1
7/24/09 Fri 11:00 am
7/25/09 Sat 12:00 pm
7/31/09 Fri 10:00 pm
8/1/09 Sat 8:00 pm

(#2 technically starts at 12am the following day, but working -and cruising for sex- in 24 Hour joints, I've learned how confusing that is for everyone, so...)

Shaka Talk #2
7/23/09 Thurs 11:59 pm
7/30/09 Thurs 11:59 pm
8/6/09 Thurs 11:59 pm
8/13/09 Thurs 11:59 pm


Shaka Talk #1 Part 1


Hostess Diar "D.R." Rhea introduces her co-hostess Edna Mc Man and their first guest, origami artist Won Park. He explains the beginnings of origami, how he started working with dollar bills, and displays some of his work in pictures and in studio. Edna goes off on some pronunciation tangent, and D.R. asks if Won is a race traitor.

Shaka Talk 1 Part 2


Won goes on to explain the contemporary history of origami, paying homage to Akira Yoshizawa, the "Father of Modern Origami", as well as Won's own mother who taught him "schoolyard origami". Won also brakes the news that he'll be a special guest at the Origami USA Convention in New York this summer, and talks about his legal entanglement with iPhone. Edna promotes Won's many achievements while D.R. questions his popularity.

Shaka Talk 1 Part 3


Won explains that his profession isn't such a lady magnet, and shows a pic of the full-body Transformers costume that his girlfriend wore to Kawaii Con when he won best-in-show for his Optimus Prime get-upp. He briefly talks about growing upp in Hawaii, and his new book he's working on. D.R. mocks Won's name and Edna mentions the challenges of folding money from different countries. Finally Won reveals the butterfly he'd been folding throughout the show.

Shaka Talk 2 Part 1


Diar "D.R." Rhea and co-hostess Edna Mc Man meditate and wish for a new boy to talk with, and like magic Alex Iverson appears! Right away he almost impresses them with his card tricks. But don't be fooled into thinking that the bug which flies past halfway through the clip reveals his secrets. Do be impressed by the way he makes cards fly around himself. Awkwardly, the video queued upp happens to be of the same tricks he just performed, but it's cool to see them in a public setting (plus there's a couple hot local boys in the videos). Finally Alex explains the two reasons most magicians learn their craft, but he just does it to make people smile (cheeseball).

Shaka Talk 2 Part 2


Alex demonstrates his "phonedom" for safer phone sex, then D.R. asks if there's evil spirits involved with his trickery. This leads to his explanation of his myspace moniker "The Wizard of Om", and his writings at helium.com under that name. When D.R. asks him to teach them a trick, he breaks down the magician's code, and proclaims that he's an entertainer, so that's why it doesn't bother him to break the rules. Alex also gives shout outs to Bicycle Man and Steve Williams, then sets upp the trick that he created.

Shaka Talk 2 Part 3

Alex demonstrates the trick he created, which seems to fail, then turns out kinda cool. D.R. challenges Alex to make her pick the card of her choice and it works! He brags about having influenced some of the magicians in town, but admits that he's borrowed a trick that hasn't perfected it. Next, to Edna and D.R.'s delight, Alex pulls out balls for them to marvel at. After a question about jail, Alex gives his angle about the legalization of marijuana. And finally, he closes the show with yet another card trick.

Ho Down (part 3)

While researching this tangent, I found an article which mentions two people I'd previously written about whom I couldn't find a reason to punish them. The Advertiser article's old, but if them dudes still act the same, I'd challenge them.

My friend Tracy Ryan's group APLE (Arresting Prostitutes is Legal Exploitation) is probbly the most vocal advocate for sex workers on Oahu. Sisters Offering Support (SOS) of Honolulu I think has closed but did a lot to help those wanted to, leave the business, and drew attention to the child sex trade.
HBO once aired a documentary Called Downtown Girls: Hookers of Honolulu?focusing on some local girls including movie star Saellah V and Shaka Zine cover girl Barbie Q.

I'm glad I don't remember the local pimp's name from "American Pimp", a documentary by the Hughes Brothers. This way I don't glamourize or slander him, because I believe that most often pimps are the true criminals in the sex-business. But I couldn't ignore or overlook the movie.

My favourite quote is from Vice Magazine:

"Pimps are parasitic rapists that turn desperate drug addicts into slaves and then beat them up."

~
In some situations, the sex-worker is doing the job out of economic necessity. In many countries, it is a legitimate occupation of choice, (including the USA state of Nevada). Some people have no other choice, whether because of poverty or slavery. Things are tough all over.

Around the world, sex workers unite and work for fairness.
NSWP (Network of Sex Work Projects) their webmaster must be dating because their site needs uppdating, but it still has some good links and they apparently produced the documentary below.
It's about how when our government offers money to foreign charities via USAID (US Agency for International Development) and PEPFAR (The US Predident's Plan For AIDS Relief), the recipients must take an anti-prostitution stand, or else be denied the funding. Consequently many classes and clinics were closed due to these prohibitionist policies. Ironically, in 2007 Randall L. Tobias, the Bush Administration's director of USAID, resigned after admitting he was a client at a Washington, DC escort service. (If the video is too big for your screen click here.)

$pread Magazine is a free publication supporting the rights of sex workers, and they're having a fundraiser called "Muff Muff Give" Thursday April 16, 2009 at Sugarland in NYC. On May 8, 2009 $pread will be teaming upp with SWEP (Sex Workers' Empowerment Project) and the Witness Project to host a video production event, providing training for activists and advocates in the New York Area, according to deepthroated.wordpress.com a blog for sex-workers

The Desiree Alliance the Henderson, Nevada -based group will not hosting their usual event this year, and instead will meet upp at the

6th San Francisco Sex Worker Film, Art & Music Fest which runs May 31st to June 7th, 2009.


St. James Infirmary celebrates their 10th Anniversary this year and is hosting a Fundraiser called Cirque X on Friday, June 5, 2009 at the Paradise Lounge in San Francisco from 9pm-3am.
ISWFACE (International Sex Worker Foundation for Art, Culture and Education) also known as "Ice Face" might not have uppdated their site in a while, but it still has some good links on it, plus they have a cute art gallery with 2 pages including a cool Myth and Reality poster. COYOTE (Call Off Your Old Tired Ethics) has a few dead links on their site, but here's a cool one telling you how to know you're in a sting operation and a super long one about what to do if you get arrested.
Prostitutes' Education Network has links for days and a thorough list of videos for sale, but I don't have a PayPal, so I'm not sure if they're still available.

SWOP - USA (Sex Workers Outreach Project) held a big celebration March 3rd 2009 for International Sex Workers' Rights Day.

SWOP East has a good page about Harm Reduction for Sex Workers as well as for Adult Film Actresses.





And walnet.org seems to be the home of the Commercial Sex Information Service, including a link to PONY (Prostitutes of New York)

homocoocoo

My huzzbin Aaron Yoshino just revamped his website honozooloo.com and will most likely be uppdating it frequently. Check it out and let him know what you think. Plus hurry upp and get down to In4mation in Ward Warehouse later this week to see Aaron's latest exhibit "The End is Near" showcasing the high-living low lights of Downtown Honolulu. It's already tooken down from the boardshop uppstairs, but will be re-mounted soon in their main store for the month of April. And spend some time flipping through Aaron's daily photoblog 5toLife for a peak at some of his personal faves, poems and insights.
Aaron recently honoured me by giving me a couple photos of myself that he had taken during a performance I did at a fundraiser for Next Door. I doubt he'd publish them, but it's very flattering to have his watermark on my image. Thanks cutie.

Unfortunately for Next Door, http://www.supercw.com/ was celebrating her 6 year anniversary at Pearl Ultralame that same night, so downtown, and pretty much the rest of Honolulu were desserted. That just made it easier for me to perform, and get the nerve to approach Aaron on the street after the show. Don't tell him, but he's my new Teddy.
From Next Door, I ran home to change into a collared shirt and headed to Pearl to support Christa and congratulate her for her longevity and many accolades. I didn't get past the door guy though, as he repeated a couple times "no sneakers". It was weird how he kept looking me in the eye, then back at my hand with the $20 bill I'd pulled out to pay cover. It was that "well, for twenty bucks I guess I could overlook the dress code" kinda look. (I know how to do/read it, I used to be a door whore)

But I'm not much into crowds, and by the look at the rest of the line, I knew it wasn't my scene, and gladly drove off to check out Aaxtion Video. I found out the next day Aaron got turned away at Pearl for dress code too. Had I known, I woulda offered to share a booth with him at Aaxtion. My treat.

Since no one was there that night, and I went through the trouble of taping down my tits and stuffing my pants in boy drags, here's the thing I read at Next Door that night.

Bitch!
Faggots is hot!
One of which
I am not
Butt sometimes I can pass
Get to fuck guys upp the ass

Just strap down my breasts
Strap-on the rest

Over there
Thomas Square
Kapiolani Park
Hell, they can't tell
in the dark

Just find some sissy hunk who's all drunk
Or some pissy punk strung out on that junk

In the hanging roots
of the banyan trees
Force that fool
down on his knees

And when I say so
He will go
down on my dildo

Turn him round
and I put it
right upp his butt

And boys will be boys hunny
If he wants I'll make noise
What the Hell? I'm pro-choice
Just gotta tone down my voice

When I cum
and we're done
It's no fun.

What can I say?
I'm a bitch
A girl gets attached.

Every day
I wish
My eggs could hatch
a detachable snatch

ACTION!!!

I got to work early this morning to help my friend Mr X shoot a J/O (jerkoff) scene at DHV Kakaako. This isn't the first time I've helped him, I actually got to run the second camera in my living room where he shot a scene for Slut Air 3.
The girl in the scene (I think her name is Lana, above right with the black coat on) was so cute. After the facial money shot she looked around herself, saying "I tried to catch it all on my face". She didn't wanna let our carpet get semen-stained. So thoughtful. (I know it smells like Clorox and taste like cocaine-drip, but does sperm also have bleaching action? Oh, wait. Nevermind. None of my black socks changed colour.)
I was also on-set photographer for a couple other scenes in my house, with Kaila Mai & Koa Wood, one shot of which made it to the cover of Shaka Zine #5.
Kaila was real sweet. We officially met when Mr X promoted "Party Like a Porn Star" at Club 939, to promote his movie Double Header that included a scene with Kaila and fellow local girl Jandi Lin in a 2-girl POV BJ scene. (POV stands for Point of View, and that's when the scene is shot from the male actor's perspective, meaning the cock in the scene is the cameraman's. To save money and ensure he gets a good performance from his male talent, Mr X shoots POV often.)
Kaila's a local girl who moved to the mainland and became a porn star to make some quick cash. She had a few movies under belt, and was planning to quit before coming back home. When she told me she was thinking of changing her look, I warned her not to dye her hair back dark until after she got her braces removed and was pau with porn, so that it was less likely people would recognize her right away.
I also had to coach her at 939. Luckily she went on before Jandi, who really commanded everyone's attention with her performance. Kaila was awkward, and after clumsily prancing around the platform during her song, she was ready to leave the stage with all her clothes still on. When I asked her if she was done, she seemed surprised. I pointed out all the boys and butchies who were eagerly waving dollar bills and waiting for the rest of her show.

"What am I supposed to do?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I explained to her: "Um, you could start by taking your clothes off and dancing for them dollars...but don't take everything off until the 3rd or 4th song!" Doesn't she have cable?
She did okay, and made a little money, but was eager to get off the stage.

"I'm a porn star, not a stripper!"

When it comes to video, I have to say, Kaila is a professional. As naive as she might be (didn't even bring photos or DVDs to sign at 939, missing out on a lotta $$), she is what some people would call a trouper. During both scenes I got to photo, her male co-star really put her through it. Unfortunately Koa Wood, though well-endowed and experienced, is not what most in the industry would call a "professional" per se.
Don't get me wrong, he's a good performer. But either Koa has too much sex or it takes a lot to get him off, because he can't do what most male stars are expected to do: cum on command. Kaila withstood over an hour of pounding before their second scene together was finally over, and throughout you could see how his size was hurting her, but she didn't complain once.
Mr X did shoot a scene with Jandi Lin in our house as well, but I wasn't invited to watch that, which kinda sucked because her co-star (and then-boyfriend) was a hot hapa boy. It was for the website soapymassage.com. After the cameras were put away, Jandi & cutie took a shower and shook the whole house. What a screamer! Mr X got a boner & a bonus scene when he quickly unpacked and caught the couple mid-coitus while cleaning upp.
Jandi went on to work for major companies like Hustler, Evil Angel and Digital Playground, and I hear she made the cover of AVN Magazine as one of the industry's major upp-n-cummers. However, she seems to have put her career on hold, having returned to Honolulu, and has been seen working downtown (indoors).
An equal-opportunity exploiter, Mr X has also branched off into other arenas of eroticism. He just recently released "Tranny Aloha", the first transsexual DVD shot in Hawaii. I already met a few of the girls either backstage during a show, working the streets, and of course at home when they did some solo (masturbation) scenes at my house for a website that had hired Mr X to shoot them. I'm not sure which site it was, but the girls were quite a sight in themselves.
I hear they're kinda embarrassed though(or at least pretending to be), allegedly unaware that the DVD would be released in the islands. When me and the other mahus I work with proudly spread the word that our friends were movie stars, one pretty much summed upp all of their feelings with the sentiment "I'm so irras that now all these J Queens know what my laka looks like!"
Mr X also has a gay line called Cherry Boy Asia. Unfortunately none of scenes were shot here, 'cause I love me some yellow meat. As with his Asia Bootleg series, most of the scenes are smuggled out of places like the Phillippines, Thailand, Indonesia, and other island nations. It's funny 'cause he says that his gay stuff looks a lot better than the straight stuff. But even when he tries real hard to make his straight stuff look good, and gets all artsy with it, the movies don't do so well. As a straight guy he should know, most dudes are only looking for some hot action and new pussy. Only females and fags are really interested in art direction, story, or any other production values.

I'm getting to the story about the solo we shot today. Ya sure, I'm just as excited to talk about it as you are to hear it. One of Mr X's most popular series is called "Lei'd in Hawaii". Like Tranny Aloha, a lot of the scenes take place on the beach. I'm not sure which beach, as we don't have any legal nude beaches on Oahu, and I wouldn't wanna sabotage any future fuck flicks by guessing where he films them. Lana, the girl from Slut Air 3 is in #2, and fetish model Kina Kai is on the cover of the original. Mr X's latest local project is videostoreporn.com. I don't wanna include the link yet 'cause it's not upp and running right now. He's registered the URL, but the web provider service (whatever you call them) is kinda just squatting on his page till he adds content. And I think today was the first step toward creating the site.
When I got the call to see if he could shoot in our store, right away I said yes without asking permission. My first question was "What kind of scene?"Soon as When he told me it was a solo with a local Japanese guy, I was leaking tranny fluid. Right away I'm all "Meet me after midnight and we could do it after closing". But "Randy" the model, has a girlfriend and that would be too late for him to sneak out of the house.
We planned to meet at 745am, so we could finish before the store opens at 9am. I got there at 715 and had done all my opening duties, eaten breakfast and shat it all out by 740am. At 750, I was pacing and decided to look outside for everyone. There was the usual blue collar guys in our lot sneaking off to pick upp breakfast down the block, an old lady picking upp dog-shit by the bar next door, and some middle-aged uncle cruising in his truck. WHAT THE FUCK? Yet it wasn't long before Mr X pulled upp and parked, and then (gasp!) Uncle jumped outta his truck and introduced himself. I totally went flaccid and the turtled receded into his shell.
The guy wasn't ugly, cute face & smile, but he didn't try to look pretty. We usually avoid telling guys who agree to do a solo scene (they make more $ than doing a boy/girl 'cause it's all about him since he's the only one on camera) that it's for a gay audience. Sorry but shallow faggots don't take a second glance at 49 year-old goateed guys in beat-upp backwards trucker hats, oversized worn out Marathon t-shirts, stained stone-washed jeans, and hash slippahs. But you work with what you got.
I let them into the store, and after casing the joint, Xeroxing ID's and discussing the Tranny Aloha controversy, I reminded Mr X that the store opened in 30 minutes. So without much coaching, we set upp the scene. Randy would walk into the store, I would greet him, he'd look around, make sure on one was watching, pull out his dick and yank it onto a DVD box cover. Let's do this!
Took almost 30 seconds for Randy to see the ACTION signal and come through the door. I said my usual "If you need help with anything, just lemme know" (I shoulda said "If you need a hand with anything..."). He looked around a bit, grabbed a DVD, went to the assigned TS/Classics/8HR Comp aisle, dropped trou and went for it. I could tell it was his first time. First time shooting a porn, and first time sneaking a wank in a porn shop. If we weren't so rushe I woulda taught him a few tricks, but it's just a movie, so reality ain't key.
At the point we thought was "mid-scene", Mr X asked me to shoot some stills. I fumbled with the camera and focused on Randy's dick, then he asked "Where do you want me to come?" Less than a minute after Mr X told him to do it on the DVD box, he did! Um...okay. That was quick. He did as he was told and put the DVD box onto the shelf and Mr X zoomed in to catch the cum slippery sliding down the plastic cover. Beautiful. No, really, it looked cool.
Then Mr X was inspired to shoot an "alternate-ending". After a quick Kleenex clean-upp, he told Randy to stash the box into his pants and leave the store. Camera rolling, Randy did as he was told, and on his way out the door I, as the oblivious store clerk, told him "Thanks man. Come again!" God I'm so funny. This isn't: As they left, Mr X tells Randy, " I wanna shoot again. Doug, doesn't he look like a fisherman?"

(this is the cover for Hawaii Five Ho, the box Randy came on. It stars Pua Lei, the star of the first boy/girl sex scene I shot, co-starring Koa Wood. The scene came out well, and Koa came when he was supposed to. Unfortunately, the second-cameraman and I had each shot on different settings. One of us on full-screen, the other on wide-screen. Vidiots!)

http://www.mrxproductions.com/

Make Your Money Worth Something

So, it's a good thing that my friend Won Park, aka orudorumagi11 doesn't suffer have any hallucinations that I'm hard for him, because then I can flirt and neither of us will gross out. Of course he is my favourite colour (Korean), and more worse he's a geek! Not a dork, or a nerd, but an obsessive artisan who takes pride in his work. And to top it off: he's humble. Not modest mind you, but his ego is not fed by the kind words of fanboys. He's K confident for some other reason, and it's sexy. Problem is: I got to know Won, before I got a crush on him, and y'all know I only carry on with strangers, so that doomed our doin' it. Thank God, by the way, 'cause otherwise I would have to pretend I never met him.
Uh huh, this is his Shit. Won makes all these things out of Dollar Bills. $1 US, usually, but sometimes 2 or maybe more, I'm sure. Like that Millenium Falcon looks too complicated, but actually, the TIE Fighters were photoshopped down to scale, so maybe I'm wrong...Ok, I looked it upp and the Falcon took Three (3).
In fact, he just had some drama when some iPod application developers created an app called "Dollar Origami", and totally stole his TIE fighter, as well his Koi imagery. That's purty shadey, because all of Won's creations are his own original designs. Shit, I get pissed when somebody wears my dress before me and gets tipped a dollar. Them iPod thieves coulda banked big time without even acknowledging him. I wonder how he found out? Anyways, he mentioned the issue online, and on that same fuckin' day the app had been removed until they could solve the copyright issues! Fuckin' A! I still find it kind of ironic, intriguing and iffy, considering the TIE Fighter is probbly a Lucasfilm copyright. But, I can't wait to hear the follow-upp. And what I love more is how his admirers and comrades started a email campaign and Yes We Can'd the whole thing. Shet, he no fool around. Sorry, ya Won? Sked o' you!
While Won does take commissions on his work by request, he also donates some of his time to good causes. Like the ads pictured above for Brookline Community Foundation which is apparently in Massachussets, though it's not immediately evident on their site. He created each piece (a car, cooked chicken, shirt, or syringe) from blown upp copies of actual checks the organization had received. The ads are labelled either Transportation, Food, Clothing, or Medical Care, and below each it says "Just one of the many things your money helps provide to those in need." Sounds like a good thing, right? He so nice.

I couldn't find any other videos of Won online, although I know there's a few, because he showed me. And this one's not of him making anything, and what he does have isn't the fascinating kine, but you to see what he looks like if you're a rice queen like me. Too bad we're friends, because I mighta considered hooking upp with some sorta sensei/guru guy like him, had I hadn't knowed him.
So check out my friend Won Park's Gallery of work on deviantart.com/ To ask him to make you something, contact him directly orudorumagi11@yahoo.com or call him at (808) 387-5928. And finally, if you're a member of that "community" (forgot my password) try join his yahoo group at "groups.yahoo.com/group/moneyfolders_unite" Tell him Shaka Zine sent you and maybe we'll get something free out of this.

This is NOT Won in the Video below, but if you ain't as talented as him and origami don't get you laid, watch and learn how to make something that will.

Look! Book!

"That's awesome!" Of course that would be Ross Jackson's reply uppon finding a pic of himself in Dan Weaver's new book "Vodka Soda".
But he's right. I had to pretend I was gonna take a shit to excuse myself during another one of Ross's "I'm gonna have a houseful of haoles" harangues, just to get the most out of the glossy picture pages. (disclaimer: one Elegant Olopop, and 3 amasians showed upp later in the evening)
Anyone who knows him....wait, I should say, Anyone who's been drunk in public with him knows how charmingly obnoxious (I would say ubiquitous, but I forget what it means) a paparazzoid Dan be. Try check his site of sights danceonpartyon.com.

If you get to talkin' to him, you'll find out he's in the Top 10 of dat kine photogs. I'm not a connoisseur of party paps, so I wouldn't know it unless he told me. But I have to admit, I do like his shit.
Aside from all his cool friends, and all the other beautiful people, he got pics of international stars like top model Agyness (above) as well as Samuel Jackson (below)
but there's also some local sex symbols like Dave Noodle (above) or rap stars, like the cutie below wearing my favourite shirt by another hot local designer (I forgot to mention, Dan also makes clothes, I just found his website, and he even just got featured in SMART magazine) But whatevers about wearables. Sex sells, and apparently Dan knows that too. He's included something for everyone whether you like
...feet or pussy.... ....hos or bitches......
...dick or ass or balls or pee....
.....hairy cracks or nipples in a net..... Luckily I like it all!

But of course, the best parts are of the hammered hipsters, and there's two of my favourite: Mike Robideaux, whom I'd like to Make Rubbin'dix with. And I almost got to...He came upp to me after the club one night, 'cause he heard a rumour my roomie Ross was having a party at our house, that he hadn't invited Mike to. So Mike asked me if he could come. Right away I did.

He was with his friend John who used to be cute, but always was unjustifiably uppity. You ever fantasize about people you're not attracted to just 'cause you've seen all the porn in your house too many times, and everyone else around is either typical "indy" kids, or otherwise uninteresting? Ya, that was my predicament. So, as if I was about to die, the whole gang rape scene between me, Mike and John flashed before my eyes (a few times with alternate endings and multiple money shots), I squirt in my panties, and then like any normal guy who just let a load off, I was over it and said nuh-uh. So haggle with Dan over the price of his book, check if you're in it, then rub yourself the right way...mmkay?