Monday, January 19, 2009

Shuffle Kerfuffle ~ The Evolution of Dance in My Lifetime

The Curly Shuffle
One time at the Wave Waikiki, my friend Veronica aka "Superchick" asked me if I was half-haole. Immediately insulted and defensive I told her "ya! why? what?" In her kindest condescension she said "I was watching you dance." Ho, sorry ya? Not all of us are lucky enough to be half-black. Aside from my ethnicity, my other excuse is this song came out just as I was developing my taste in music.

The Superbowl Shuffle
by the Chicago Bears
"We're so bad, We know we're good
Blowin' your mind like we knew we would...
We didn't come to start no trouble
We're just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle!"

(I never got into this because when it was time to play football in high school, my PE teacher would offer to let me and my even faggier friend run laps instead of watching us ruin the game for him and the rest of the boys.)

The Cupid Shuffle
The first time I heard this song was at Chemisstry Nightclub. We got there just as the Drag King show ended. My friend Noe's hot haole dyke friend from Philly put out a fire as the laidback lezzies just watched when a candle ignited someone's drink napkin and crept toward a curtain. But not even she was prepared when this song started and the dancefloor overflowed with line-dancing labia-licking ladies walkin' it by themselves en masse. Apparently this dance is just as popular with Red Monsters as it is with Black Butchies. I wonder: who taught whom?

Hawaii Shuffle Meet Upp
I don't know what to say about this new incarnation of Shuffling. Mostly because I don't want these underage urbanites to un-invite me next time they gather at the Pearlridge parking lot to dance alone together. I hope I'm correct in assuming from their musical taste, that they're at that point in life when they're experimenting with more than just designer drugs.

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